Appreciating Carly Rae Jepsen For Dummies Maybe

Hello! And welcome to “The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Appreciating Carly Rae Jepsen For Dummies Maybe.” It’s really great that you’ve chosen to click on this link, for whatever reason. Thank you. As a D-list celebrity Carly Rae Jepsen appreciator, I get a lot of questions via email and Twitter about my second-favorite Canadian pop star. Maybe you’ve got a little crush: “Trent, do you know if Carly Rae is single?” Perhaps you’re a “Call Me Maybe” structuralist: “What is the deal with this song?” Or maybe you’re just challenging the authenticity of my “like:” “Do you really like Carly Rae Jepsen?”

No matter what site you were browsing before you clicked on this link, welcome! If you’re a tl;dr kinda asshole, I’ll give you this (for everyone else: spoiler alert!): I really do like Carly Rae Jepsen, really, which, if you’re still reading this, begs the crucial question of the Guide: “How do you really like Carly Rae Jepsen, really?”

This Guide grew out of my simple and very personal passion for the holistic beauty of Carly Rae Jepsen and her hit song. Although I have been passionate about songs before and will certainly be passionate about songs in the future, I won’t write appreciation guides about them. There is something special about “Call Me Maybe,” it’s safe to say. Aside from being very popular, it is a litmus test for the presence of humanity, optimism, and warmth in the listener. It’s also the first and only music that can appropriately follow “Bizarre Love Triangle” on a wedding dancefloor while maintaining the high integrity of both songs.

Where is this Guide guiding you? With your open mind, it will take you down the path towards becoming more in tune with all around you, maybe. Where you go from there is a simple matter of time — the more of it you spend with the song, the more you will draw those around you towards enlightenment maybe like a moth to a flame.

Before the program begins, let’s answer the most primal of questions in this universe: “What is ‘Call Me Maybe?’” Watch it now, whether you’ve seen it or not, and no cheating! Watch all the way to the end. You trust me, right? 😉

Whether you know Carly Rae or not, you have probably already heard this song. If you haven’t already heard it, “Call Me Maybe” at least reminds you of something you’ve heard before — it oozes the universal familiarity inherent in all good pop songs. (If you haven’t heard it, by the way, you should get out more. At least change the channel from C-SPAN every couple of months maybe.)